Seth Marks called Whitney a Biatch when coming to Meredith’s defense. John Barlow mansplained how fighting women should apologize. Shawn did not die of embarrassment when Angie played a cringeworthy newlywed game, and Justin Rose did not die of embarrassment when Whitney listed his top three favorite sexual positions.
The only husband who didn’t get the memo was Todd, who said, “I wasn’t coming to spend a weekend here to sit through a bunch of arguments.” Well, Todd, what exactly did you think was going to happen?
more from this series
The SLC ladies are trading one freezing-cold location for another on their girl's trip to “mill-e-wah-que” in the dead of winter. Whitney is hosting a drag show at Trixie’s bar, bringing the gaggle along. Whitney is determined to show the women a good time, only to be usurped by confrontations of who slid what into each other's DMs.
It’s hard to imagine now but, believe it or not, the seismic, fourth-wall-breaking reveal that new Housewife Monica Garcia is internet troll Reality Von (Tea)se was precipitated by a fight over whether Angie is in the Greek Mafia. As the women, dressed up as Pirates, ate dinner in a cave, a mustached Monica insisted that Meredith was behind the DMs she was getting about Angie.
Trixie Mattel, and her pink candied motel, deserved a better class of guests. First, Whitney checks in ahead of the hostess so that she can sneak Angie K. onto the trip, then Heather has too many espresso martinis and throws up all over it.
This San Diego trip was Jen’s last before pleading guilty and reporting to federal prison, and there were so many party fouls and acts of violence. First, Jen, upset about the room assignments in the gorgeous home Angie K. found for them, dumped a glass of champagne on Angie’s fresh blowout as a “joke.” Later, on a boat trip, Jen chucks Angie’s shoes over the side.
Jen Shah’s passport has been seized by the legal system, so this season’s cast trips can’t go far. Arizona it is! The first thing on the itinerary is a backyard visit from a healer, which doesn’t heal anyone so much as it opens wounds between Lisa and Meredith after Lisa’s hot mic disaster last season.
It is a testament to these remarkable women that Mary Cosby falls asleep mid-conversation while Whitney Rose, wearing a Bavarian costume, accuses her of being a bad friend and also of serving as the head of a financially abusive cult, and it’s the least memorable thing that happens on this vacation.