Tamra Judge loves to quit, and she never does it quietly. Some of her best moments on the show have come from declaring, “You will never see my face again!” and she doesn’t disappoint in New Orleans.
It starts the way all great RHOC scenes start, with Tamra quietly pulling the strings on two of her castmates and then yelling, “fight!” She tells Gretchen that Katie is talking about her to bloggers, spreading a lie that Gretchen claims to have been roofied the night Tamra got her “naked wasted.” But when it comes time for the showdown? Katie says it's a lie and Gretchen believes her, leaving Tamra with no options besides drunkenly flouncing out of dinner and quitting the show.
But the show goes on, Tamra commences filming, and Shannon shows up late to a gator cruise because she was having a panic attack about lash glue.
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Of course the OC ladies are only in Jamaica for a few minutes before doing something culturally insensitive. They arrive with novelty dreadlocks in their carry-on and “yeah mon!” on the tips of their tongues. It’s not a great trip for Shannon - she is going through a divorce, and new girls Gina Kirschenheiter and Emily Simpson are ready to confront her for the frosty reception she has given them.
Lydia is doing a feature for Nobleman magazine and the women are tagging along. The first stop? A store for cold weather gear, because Lydia, and probably the insurance company that holds the policy for this production, cannot trust Southern Californians to bring appropriate clothing.
The OC ladies may have been a little too inspired by the Fighting Irish on this trip. No sooner has the first pub crawl started than Kelly annoys Vicki by flicking her nose. Tamra interjects to say “She doesn’t like that” and Kelly yells at her to “keep walking.”
Sleeping in vans and roaring around the dunes in dune buggies and ATVs, has any vacation ever been more on-brand for Tamra Judge? Technically it’s her husband Eddie’s trip, for his birthday, but if you invite Housewives on your trip, it’s a Housewives trip.
Lizzie “feels'' pregnant and isn’t drinking, a clear violation of the “whoop it up” mandate. Vicki and Shannon are not having it. They order a pregnancy test to her room so that they can all take it as a group. It’s negative, so poor Lizzie must commence with taking shots.
Heather Dubrow is a woman whose brand is Champs, so it makes sense that she is developing her own champagne, or “méthode champenoise” with Gallo.
A gorgeous resort, in one of the most beautiful countries on earth. A spiritual retreat most Americans could only dream of. What a perfect setting to argue about Lizzie’s birthday party. You see, Tamra didn’t attend the party, canceling at the last minute because her daughter was sick.
The Beadors are in trouble. Everyone in the OC knows that David sent Shannon an email to soft launch a divorce, but Vicki is coming to the rescue. She invites the Beadors to hang out in her home-away-from-home Puerto Vallarta (her dad was one of the “first owners” there) with her and Brooks, so they can be positively influenced by seeing a “healthy couple.”
Some wild things happened on Tamra’s bachelorette getaway in Puerto Vallarta. The male strippers were overly zealous. Vicki sat on Tamra’s bed to download after a fun night out and left a little pee behind. Tamra, Lydia, Shannon, and Vicki snuck out of the elegant seafood restaurant Heather picked for them and went clubbing.
This is all Vicki’s idea. Her son Michael has just gotten back from a trip to Costa Rica and he just loved all the zip-lining and white water rafting. Surely if Michael enjoyed it then Heather Dubrow and Gretchen Rossi will as well? Alexis has a nervous breakdown about zip-lining.